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30/30 – Day 2
I’ve been reflecting back over 2016, as we all have been the past couple days. My art biz was put through many trials over the year. Woo. What a roller coast ride it’s been with seemingly more downs than ups, for sure. A couple good things happened, but I had a ton of failures, and some hard lessons were learned.
Some things I intentionally brought on myself, knowing there was a high probability that I’d fall flat on my face, but I knew I had to try anyway. I’d give myself an A for effort, but I walked away with an F for failure in the end. I’m not sorry for the failures tho..you never know unless you try, and try I did. I give myself several gold stars for that. At least I didn’t sit my butt on the couch in front of Netflix all day, doing nothing.
Then, there were the unexpected things that happened, which I had no control over whatsoever. It created a whole lot of chaos for months on end, and extra work for me. It will take me another 6 months (at least) to get it sorted out.
2016 was a year that challenged me, and made me question my love for art on so many levels. I asked myself many times, wouldn’t it be easier to go get a job somewhere? The headache of owning my own business would be gone, and a steady paycheck that actually paid me for all the hours I work never looked so good.
2016 wasn’t the kindest it could have been, but I’m still here, still painting. I didn’t give up, and I kept showing up every day. I remember telling my husband on several occasions that the business wasn’t worth all the time and money I was sinking into it. I was done. And, as soon as I was finished bellyaching, I’d go back upstairs to my office, and get back to work..with tears still streaming down my face. For those times, I give myself a T for being tenacious, which surely trumps being a failure, yeah? 😉
I can’t say I’m sad to see 2016 go, but it makes me wonder what 2017 will bring. hm..I hope it’s gentler, more loving, and kinder to everyone who needs it to be, including me. Stay positive everyone! We’re all in this thing called life together.
The future is completely open and we are writing it moment to moment.
— Pema Chodron
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